Movie Review: Serendipity

Serendipity

Well that sucked! Yawn! Groan... Hey Christa - guess what's gonna happen next!

Those are just some of the things that you might have heard had you been in the same theater as Christa and I. First of all, I did not choose this movie! It is not my fault! I am just warning others here.

Maybe I should put a spoiler warning here. The movie is about fate, destiny, whatever you want to call it (crap?) So, it's about fate, and love. Well, guess what happens? The whole damn movie is on auto pilot. And not a very good auto pilot at that! Really, I don't know if I should go on. I like John Cusack, he's done well in the movies I have seen with him.

I might suggest that this is a good movie to see with a girl, but its not even that. Really, I think this point is more important than any review of the plot. The girls I have spoken to really like this film, they thought it was great. Heck, Cranky Critic gave it his highest possible rating! Astonishing! For some reason some people think that is romantic and nice to believe that some cosmic force is out there, bringing people together. This is not appealing, hell, its dangerous. Guys, listen to me, if you go see this movie with a girl read this review! Fate, soulmate, Mr Right, all that crap can only lead to doubt and second guessing in a REAL relationship. Does anyone know with any certainty the mind of God? In philosophy we talk about epistemic responsibility. What kind of criteria is there to know that fate has brought you together?? This kind of attitude can only lead to doubt and questioning and the kind of sad heart breaking stories that the two other people in this movie would have told if we were not so fixated on the two main characters. Really, the question is for the people who find this fate crap appealing: do you really want to be chosen by some impersonal force? Would you not rather be chosen because some person you care for has decided for a multitude of special reasons that you are the person they want to spend the rest of their life with? Ultimately, it means that the persons making the decision are the ones responsible for that decision. Here, there can be no doubt who is accountable to whom. The persons making the decisions, though more fallible than fate know the reasons for the decision, and know that they are also responsible for the outcome and maintenance of the venture they have jointly undertaken.

I have said too much really. This is a bad movie and I have better things to do than go over it in any more detail. If you want a good summary of the film go see Ebert. He is a smart guy and has written a good review. He is getting paid, I am not. I'll leave the boring job of going over this movie to him. So now all that remains is giving it a a rating.

Really, it is not ALL BAD. It does seem to have been a higher budget movie. So in that respect it has a redeeming feature. In these slower economic times it might help stimulate the economy and help some of my investments. Further some smart guy might read my review and be able to score some points with a girl. Who know my friend Spanky might end his dry spell thanks to me. Well, that might be pushing it

On the official Chris' Choice scale Serendipity gets one star.

*

Scotch: Scapa Single Orkney Malt Scotch

This is a tasty Scotch!! But, before we get down to business some background is required. This Scotch comes from Scapa Flow in the Orkney Islands, the most northerly region of Scotland. My Scotch book tells me that the Scapa distillery shut down in 1993, but there seems to be some discrepancies. Anyway, I've got a bottle. From the box, bottle, and shelf at the BC liquor store, I find it hard to believe that this is some kind of independent bottling. Maybe I just misunderstood the Scotch book, but this seems to be a readily available Whisky.

This scotch is a dark yellow gold. It smells of honey and sweet salt sea air. It has a smooth body, and tastes of honey, oak and heather. There is a definite sweetness to this scotch. The finish is warm and comforting.

I don't know what to do with this Scotch. It can be, at once, sweet and refreshing and warming. It certainly does not have that tough earthen flavour of Laphroaig. It is definitely a drinking Scotch and versatile enough to be both refreshing and comforting for either warm or cold nights.

This is an excellent, tasty Scotch!!

Stats:

Name:Scapa
Region: Orkney Island
Aged: 12 Years
Alcohol: 40%

Rating:

On the official Chris' Choice rating scale, Scapa 12 yr Old Single Orkney Malt rates a:

+2

Movie Review: 15 Minutes

On the advice of Mr T.J. Button, Esq I have discovered an excellent film. I certainly would not have picked out this movie if it wasn't for his recommendation. After watching 3000 Miles from Graceland on Tim's advice (a one star movie and not worth the expenditure of my reviewing energy) he has redeemed himself.

The story concerns two East-European men who come to America to pick up some money. They end up with a video camera and going on a bit of a crime spree of murder and arson. Enter one celebrity NYPD detective and a fire department arson investigator (a fireman with a gun). Both have something to prove. Enter the news media and in particular a tabloid news program that likes reality TV and has a relationship with the cop.

Our two criminals have been saturated by American talk shows and tabloid news programs. They believe that they can get away with their crime spree by insanity. I don't really want to get into much detail of the plot. Suffice to say that these criminals are at once insane and completely rational. This is the beauty of the film. The premises on which the criminals reason is based are so faulty that they appear insane. Unfortunately, you cannot really blame these two guys. The talk shows and trash journalism that make up their idea of America, was given to them by Americans. It is difficult to fault them for having the twisted view that they have.

On the other side of the coin are the cops. Like all copps and robbers movies, one cop is a hardened veteran the other is naive and idealistic. Unlike all of the other movies of this ilk, 15 Minutes does not look at good cop, bad cop with respect to procedure. The veteran is a veteran television star. He knows how to do things right in front of a camera. The naive idealist doesn't think that such things are important. This whole aspect is just as interesting as the criminal side. Both sides are insightful, well done.

The movie sticks to the genre of action detective films. It does not really on irony or satire to make its point like Wag the Dog or Bob Roberts. Don't get me wrong the whole movie is ironic, but this is not a comedy. It is an action movie. There are some minor problems with the film. The fresh approach and unique vision of the film well make up for these small problems. This is a very good movie.

On the official Chris' Choice scale 15 Minutes gets four stars.

****

Movie Review: Artificial Intelligence

Artificial Intelligence

Real Hollywood

Well, it's Tuesday so I went to see a half price movie. There has been a bit of talk on the newspaper about Artificial Intelligence, the new Steve Spielberg flick, so Christa and I went to see what it was all about. The comments that I had read were concerning the movie's suitability for young children.

I can't really say what my thoughts were going into see the movie, but the combination of Spielberg, some sort of collaboration with Kubrick and warnings about unsuitability for children sort of make me think they weren't that bad. Anyway, the film starts off interestingly enough. It begins in a futuristic classroom like setting, where what the movie's framework seems to be set up. A bunch of engineers come up with a plan to make a robot child that is capable of loving. They imply that this has never been done before and will represent a new and possibly revolutionary development. In other words words this will be the most intelligent form of artificial intelligence, one that capable of emotional learning and personality development. They treat the question like any bunch of engineers. The problem is to program emotional love which becomes a technical question. One young lady in the classroom asks an interesting question, but in the end it is a marketing question. And so the engineers go off and solve the problem of making a robot love.

The first act of the movie is quite interesting and we are taken with what seems to be the central theme in the movie. The robot, David, is created and given to a couple who's real son has a terminal illness and has been cryogenically frozen and will remain frozen until he can be cured. Some emotional scenes follow where the human family struggles with whether they can accept David. Soon the real son is miraculously cured and the real son competes with David for the Mother's affection. We are occupied with the idea that if it is possible to create an object that loves us what if anything do we owe to that object. This idea is, however abandoned quickly. The answer is apparent. Though one might become strongly attached to David, when the real son is threatened David is tossed. David filled a need, but is only seen instrumentally as something capable of loving when you need to be loved.

In the second act we hit some really interesting stuff. David, who has been abandoned, tries to become 'real.' That is, he wants to be a real son in order to gain the love of the lady who was his mother, who he was programmed to love. During this act we are asked: what would make David real, something we would consider a person? Throughout, David is drawn by his love for 'his mother' and the belief that the Pinnochio fairy tale is real. So, he searches for a blue fairy to make him real. In typical American style David wanders. He meets some memorable characters and moves off to a dangerous frontier. Oddly enough he heads east, to Manhattan, a ghost town that was flooded when the ice caps melted. In Manhattan David was supposed to be turned into a real boy.

I will not spoil how the ending turns out, it is enough to say that it will spoil itself. It is a typically Hollywood ending. The possibilities questions that the movie starts with never realize themselves. Instead, what begins as a movie that seems to ask hard and interesting questions turns into a teary, emotional, made for Oprah mother - son moment. Even that wouldn't be so bad had the second, and central theme been realized. There is a moment, the climax, when we see a Hegelian/Hobian consciousness dialectic emerging. Unfortunately, it does not realize and David remains a slave to his programing. The third act is really pointless.

Maybe I missed something. Maybe I simply don't buy into the idea that emotional love equals humanity, that love is our one defining trait. I thought self-consciousness had at least something to do with it.

This movie, however had beautiful and haunting images and all that technical stuff, but the story failed. The max this movie can get is 49%. Therefore it gets

2 1/3 stars. ERRATUM

Using the scale recently developed with Mr J.J.E. Imber, Esq this Movie gets: ** (2 Stars)

Blends and Single Malts

Blends and Singles

After singing the praises of blended Scotch, I don't want to seem biased or overly stuck in my ways. So, the other day I picked up a bottle of Single Malt. I had heard that Scotch aged in sherry oak casks was something to try, so I tried it.

First, we should talk about the Single Malt experience. It is very much a different experience than drinking blended whisky. First of all, let's get one thing straight, you cannot compare blends to singles. I won't say that it's like comparing apples and oranges, really, its more like comparing a night out with the boys and a night out with one of the boys. You like going out with the gang because their is a certain comfort and familiarity, but when you and a buddy go out there is a certain connection - a unique experience that cannot exist when you are out with the gang. The difference between singles and blends is comparable, in my humble opinion.

The Single Malt

The Single Malt has that unique edge to it. It has personality and qualities that you don't see everyday. You probably don't want to drink Single Malt everyday. As far as I'm concerned, the great strength of a blend is that you can drink it everyday. It is a something that you won't get tired of, it's something you can rely on. A Single Malt, however, has to fit the occasion. You can't put it in the decanter, like you can a blend, no, the individuality of a Single Malt is ruined if it leaves the bottle. Single Malts must be kept distinct, in their bottles, as part of a collection. The true Single Malt lover keeps the tube or cylinder that the bottle comes in.

Single Malts, by definition are at least three years old, forty per cent alcohol, from malted barley, aged in oak and distilled in a pot still. Most importantly they must have been produced from one single distillery. Naturally there are many varieties of Single Malts out there. The peculiarities of the region, land, water and distillery all help to fashion the unique taste of each malt. Hopefully, as my collection expands, you will see many of the Single Malt varieties reviewed here.

It is hard to know just how the reviews will go. There are many fine Whiskys out there and many of the characteristics are unique and special making it hard to judge deficiencies and qualities. Further, Single Malts are harder to sample than wines. In order to sample the singles you have to buy relatively expensive bottles of Scotch, and I'm cheap! Nonetheless, in the interest of saving you from the scourge of poor taste, I am determined to let the world know what is good and what is bad so that you don't have to find out on your own. I will rate and I will judge so that you will know what is Chris' Choice.

Scotch: Glenmorangie Sherry Wood Finish

So, this is what I think of Glenmorangie Sherry Wood Finish:

When you get a hold of the aromas of this scotch you are sent back to those carefree meadows of your childhood, where the sun is shining, the flowers are out and the woods are not to far away. The sweet grassy aromas are balanced nicely by floral and wood-nut scents. A delightful nose leads to a creamy mellow, but strong mouth. The flavours are strong and nutty with a bit of oil. The aftertaste lingers for some time. This is a 'classy' drink. The dark colour and lingering flavour will no doubt help you fool someone into thinking you have taste. So long as you follow my advice and drink this whisky you won't need taste, you'll have me to guide you!!

Stats:

Name:Glenmorangie Sherry Wood Finish
Pronounced: Glen m-orange-ee (sounds like the fruit orange)
Region: Northern Highland
Age: Not indicated on the bottle or tube, but is part of the line of 12 year old Glenmorangie products
Alcohol: 43%

Website: www.glenmorangie.com

Rating:

On the official Chris' Choice rating scale, Glenmorangie Sherry Wood Finish rates a:

+2

Movie Review: Requiem for a Dream

Another disturbing movie about drugs. Look folks, I don't get drugs and I don't normally get movies about them. But, I liked this movie, though it could have been better.

The movie follows two parallel plots, with parallel tragedies. The similarities are a matter of form. Plot A deals with an elderly lady whose husband, I presume, is dead. She lives alone and ritualistically drags a lawnchair out to sit on the sidewalk with a gang of other old ladies. Her son, the main character in Plot B, is a junky although she loves him dearly. The majority of her life is spent in front of the tele. She watches an annoying game show. Then one day she is selected to attend the game show. She is filled with ideals and visions, all of the sudden she is the most popular lady in her group and she wants to wear her favourite red dress. Of course, she can no longer fit into her red dress. She goes on a diet, then unsatisfied by the diet she visits a little man in a white coat. And the descent begins.

Plot B is about the son, who we know from the onset is a junky. His life is spent pawning his mothers television for drugs. His mother then, without fail, buys back the television and the ritual continues. The son and his friend 'Tyrone' get the idea that they could start selling the junk in order to fund their habit. They are quite successful, so successful that the son buys mom a big screen tele. The third character in this plot is perhaps the most tragic. The son's girlfriend, a junky from a well off family, seems to really love the son. The two of them plot of one day running a business. They want to sell the clothes the girlfriend designs and will make. All seems to be going well. Then, all of the sudden, the supply runs dry. And the descent begins.

What is remarkable about this movie is the movement and the photography. The whole movie moves according to the seasons. Summer, described above, is full of dreams and possibility. Fall begins the descent to winter. This, of course, is not all that thrilling. Beneath the macro movement of the seasons is the micro movement of the characters. Both plots go round and round in parallel in the search for the next fix. Each sequence begins with a disturbing set of close up pictures of drug-doing.

What really got me, was the lingering of the dream and the haunting images that capture the idea of the dream. The movie has pictures of great beauty made more beautiful by the images of great horror that capture the descent and ultimately the underworld that the characters descend to.

I have to comment on the characters themselves. They were, for a movie about drugs, quite human. It was their dreams and aspirations that made them so. The drugs were what made them subhuman. The constant reminder of the dreams helped to keep us aware that these were people and maintains the sympathy needed for us to keep watching the movie through the horrible winter season.

This is not a meditation on a theme, or the exploration of an idea. Requiem for a Dream really is a requiem. It is a tragedy in the grand sense. It sings out to the soul of the lost dreams and ideals that have died because of human stupidity. There is a certain gruesome naturalism that tries to tell the dreams to rest in peace, to forgive these humans, they know not what they do. The movement of nature only reinforces this idea.

Requiem for a Dream cannot really be a tragedy in the grand sense, I lied. Don't get me wrong it is tragic and tries to be a tragedy. The problem is that there cannot be a character like Antigone, Oedipus or Hamlet. The junkies are not being tossed around by nature. My conservative right wing sensibilities tell me that doing drugs is a choice. Drugs is not a part of the tragic nature of man. It is part of the stupid nature of some stupid people. My idealism tells me that some people can reach their dreams, in fact that many people can - even people that have done drugs. Dreams in this movie make junkies human, it is the junk that stops the junkies from being human. Sub-humans, to carry on the metaphor, cannot be the subject of proper tragedy. Tragedy must appeal to our universal human nature. Look to the Greeks or to Shakespeare for tragedy, not Hollywood.

This is a good movie, but I am bound by my rating scale. The movie passes, but the film suffers from the deficiency that I've just mentioned. The movement and photography ought to give this film four stars, but I cannot in could conscience ignore the official Chris' Choice scale. Requiem for a Dream has surpassed my expectations of a movie about drugs, but it has problems. It does not meet my expectations of a tragedy. The problems weaken the pass,

On the official Chris' Choice scale Requiem for a Dream gets two stars.

**